​Rachelle Mandik, how do I pronounce thee?
Is it like Rachel? but with an L and an E?
Or is it Ray-Shell, like what you find near the sea?
Maybe even Rah-Chelly? No, that doesn't seem likely.

And while we're talking, what about that surname?!
Like if a man and a penis were all worked up, inflame,
And rounded the bases of that sexy ball game,
And made a weird little baby born into shame.

But anyway. Rachelle Mandik, or Mandik, Rachelle,
On the man-penis baby, I'm not going to dwell
Although it would look like an abomination from hell.
And spend it's life in the tower, ringing church bells.

​F is for follow her because she is funny
I is for "I don't think that's her natural hair colour"
G is for grey. it's grey, right?
G seriously, it's grey, isn't it?
L is for something beginning with L
E is for I'm struggling here
D is for Dee which is her name

​As I survey the names in my library,
There are a few names that leap out and grab me:
Shakespeare, Pratchett, Fforde and Bronte,
But none of these measure up to my friend, Kim Monte.

(Knowing her well, I'm sure she won't mind
If I say that, of course, I'm just being kind.
Because as she oft says: she'll never be timeless,
With a collection of tweets that are so bloody mindless.)